Sunday, 27 December 2009

Murder in Albert Square

Rosebud was his sled. Or rather it wasn't because this was Archie Mitchell, not Citizen Kane, even though he was nursing a snowglobe for much of his final hour in Albert Square. Meanwhile the list of possible culprits for his inevitable demise grew steadily, Agatha Christie style.
Would it be Bradley, for once not wearing brown but a new Christmas jumper? Janine, forced to parade in her sexy Santa outfit (even though she had all her clothes in the suitcase Archie had so thoughtfully thrown at her)? Peggy, who as we know is leaving the Square? Phil, who could barely see straight, having spent the entire day drinking with Shirl? Sam, who had arrived back just in time to discover how 'Uncle Archie' had stitched up her - and her family? Ian, who he was blackmailing? Ronnie, whose life he had destroyed?
Well, call me Hong Kong Phooey, but since Sam came in clutching her jacket, looking shaken and shocked in Friday's episode, and since she's got form (she was there when Dirty Den got his head smashed in with a doorstop, wasn't she?), my money's on her.
Anyway, no harm really done. Archie turned up on the beach in Gavin and Stacey on Thursday night looking fit as a fiddle.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Sorry Ma'am, just grin and bear it

A well-known family has complained about paparazzi intrusion into their personal lives and have asked to be left alone at Christmas, citing the Press Complaints Commission Code and insisting that shots of them going about their daily business are 'not in the public interest'.
Sounds reasonable enough. Except that this particular family are the Royal Family. And the simple truth is that we - as a nation - own the Windsors, because we're the ones who keep them going.
Personally I have no interest in seeing candid snaps of Wills, Harry or any of the rest. And no one would want to see a return to the bad old days of Diana-style stalking.
But you can't draw money from the public purse and then moan about intrusion.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

A Letter to my 16-year-old self

This post is in response to a writing workshop suggestion by Josie at Sleep is for the Weak

Dear Liz,

The New Romantic look is Not A Good Look. Ditto the Princess Di. Try to find your own style and remember that photos last a lifetime, so be very careful about what you wear to weddings.
Your sister can be a pain, but she looks up to you so try to be a bit nicer to her, you never know when you might need each other. And when you go on holiday to Germany with her and your cousin, don't get in the car with the boys you meet at the disco and go back to their flat. It will all be OK, but it could so easily not have been.
The Jane Fonda workout is a waste of time and money because you will do it once or twice and then lose interest. Ditto the Peter Powell, the Felicity Kendall and any other celebrity-endorsed workout album, video (or in a few years) DVD that follows. Although you're not remotely sporty it would be good if you could get into running and keep doing it for the rest of your life. Heart disease runs in your family.
You haven't been in love before, but try not to fall for the American boy who joins your 6th Form for three months, because when he leaves to return home it will break your heart. And try not to get too involved with boyfriends at university. None of them are your soulmate and the thought of them will eventually make you cringe.
I know you want to buy lots of lovely clothes and albums and go to as many parties as possible but try not to spend all your holidays and Saturdays working in WHSmiths to pay for it. You need to do more revision. You're bright but if you don't work a bit harder you won't do nearly as well in your exams as everyone expects.
Cider and black is a horrible drink and if you have more than a pint of it you will end up in hospital. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Try to see your grandmother often because you will miss her so much when she's gone.
And finally, spend as much time as you can with your dad, getting to know him as well as you possibly can. Ask him about his childhood and try to find out about your half brother and sister. In a year, he will leave home. In five years, he will be dead, and all the answers will be lost forever.

Love Liz