Friday, 26 June 2009

The Lost Boy

One of my favourite all time records is I want you back by the Jackson Five. Michael's soaring child vocals elevate the track into a work of genius. Whatever you think about the man he became, he was without question one of the most naturally gifted singers of his generation. So I hope he's left to rest in peace - and his children can finally have the normal life they deserve.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

What Katie did

Having negotiated with Katie Price's former management company re the use of her incredibly carefully controlled image on numerous occasions, it comes as something of a shock to see her sprawled on a beach in Ibiza allowing holidaymakers to take photos. According to reports she has been getting drunk and telling anyone who'll listen that she is 'over Pete'. It doesn't appear that way. She's obviously going through a range of emotions, and I hope her friends will rally round and give her the support she so clearly needs.

The truth is out there...

Is anyone else confused about what's really going on with the economy at the moment? According to this morning's papers househunters are 'flooding' back to the market, but unemployment is at a 12-year-high and interest rates are set to rise. Somehow the figures aren't adding up.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

You couldn't make it up

As cringe-making TV moments go, this was a classic, on a par with Jade's East Angular, only with much less charm.
In case you missed it, the blonde Scottish girl was explaining the similarities between the German and English languages to the sweet Brazilian guy. 'Apparently the reason German and English are so similar is from when the Nazis came to Britain,' she told him confidently.
Oh my sad.

Monday, 8 June 2009

No Davina, this wasn't brilliant TV

I'm not sure whether the producers of Big Brother are determined that this year's series, the 10th, will also be the last. But the whole idea of the 'non-housemates' competing for a place as a 'real' housemate, and sobbing their hearts out in the diary room because they thought they had really made it into the BB house, made uncomfortable viewing, and verged on the downright cruel.
No Davina, this wasn't 'brilliant'. It was sadistic and unnecessary. You can only imagine the humiliation Beinazir, the first person to be evicted without ever having been a housemate, must be feeling now she's back home. 'She wasn't very communicative,' Davina said, with a faux sympathetic expression. Beinazir was driven away on a bus, and you could almost hear her sobbing.
No doubt this was a cynical cash-generating exercise as of course the public had to vote for the housemate they wanted evicted. But as far as I've been able to make out from the highlights, Benazir was one of the least offensive candidates, some of whom make you want to turn the TV off rather than on. Combined with the lack of daytime live feed, I predict this year's BB could well be a ratings disaster unless they turn it round quick.

The Apprentice final - spoiler alert

'I understand what you're saying... I'm not sure it's clear,' Lorraine quipped (unintentionally) as Yasmina ran through the most important speech of her life. 'I'm not Martin Luther King,' Yasmina responded.
This was just one of the golden moments in the final of The Apprentice, in which Kate and Yasmina went head to head, creating a box of chocolates with a little 'help' from their rivals/friends.
Yasmina and her team came up with the idea of chocolates with an 'electrifying' taste - weird combinations, like Orange & Coriander. Margaret raised an eyebrow at the Strawberry & Basil, and then declined to try any more, which did not bode well. But at least the packaging and price were spot on, as Suralan might say, at £5 a box.
Kate meanwhile plumped for a box of 'luxury' chocolates for couples to 'share'. Revolutionary - not. Mercifully, thanks to a last minute intervention from Debra, she avoided calling them 'Intimate' and settled on 'Choc D'Amour'. Unfortunately, she also took advice from Debra and her 'incredible palate' on the quality and ingredients used in the chocolates, which resulted in them being priced at an eye-watering £13. 'Staying in is the new going out,' Kate declared. 'Not at those prices,' the rest of us were shouting at our TV screens. As Suralan pointed out, you can always fix the quality - but Kate had unwittingly priced herself right out of the competition.
So, after 12 weeks, it was Yasmina what won it. And now the search begins for the next batch of hopefuls.
Suralan, perhaps mindful of his newly exalted position as Small Business Adviser to the Government, pointed out that given the current economic crisis he would be keen to hear from people who have been made redundant. Wouldn't it be nice if this time, that could include a few competitors the other side of 35?

Thursday, 4 June 2009

WAGS with forked tongues

It's enough to send shivers down your spine. Apparently among those with their knives out for the PM are the so-called 'WAGs', aka 'Women Against Gordon'.
Do me a favour. It's women like these - Ruth 'do as I say not as I do' Kelly, Hazel 'I'll pay back every penny' Blears, Jacqui 'yes darling you can claim for your porn' Smith and Caroline 'glamourpuss' Flint who give women in politics a bad name and remind us that we are a long, long way from the next female Prime Minister. No matter what you think of Gordon Brown, he is infinitely preferable to this seething nest of vipers.

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Goodnight Darling

I don't particularly care about the service charges on Alistair Darling's flat, how many TV subscriptions he's bought or anything else. What I do care about though is that he is, essentially, the No 2 in the Cabinet, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, to all intents and purposes in charge of the nation's wealth and as such, his behaviour, and his expenses claims, should be beyond his approach. The man has been a liability for Labour since his warts 'n' all interview with Decca Aitkenhead last summer. Not showing him the door before Thursday's elections will, I fear, prove to be a costly mistake.