The double episode season finale opened with the kind of hook other TV series can only dream about. Finally we met Jacob - who turned out to be incredibly youthful and actually rather charming. He was sitting on a beach, eating fresh fish he'd caught and barbecued himself, talking to someone who we presume was from the past rather than the future, although it was kind of hard to tell. They were watching a 17th century clipper on the sea. Then the camera panned out to reveal a giant Egyptian statue, Wicker Man style, right there on the beach.
Now we were really confused. Was Jacob in fact thousands of years old? How could an Egyptian relic have ended up on a Pacific beach? And how come we'd never seen it before?
Jacob, it turned out, had met all the Oceanic passengers at one time or other. He met Kate and Sawyer when they were cute kids, and Hurley when he'd just come out of jail. He met Sun and Jin at their wedding in Korea - it didn't matter though, because Jacob spoke every language under the sun. And still he didn't age.
Meanwhile Jack was on a mission - and that was to blow up the island with the nuclear bomb, the only way to make everything right. There was a semi-auto erotic fight between him and Sawyer (which might have worked better if they hadn't been wearing those daft Dharma Initiative jumpsuits). Finally Jack managed to convince Sawyer, Kate and Juliet that nuking the island was the right thing to do.
John Locke was still on his way to see Jacob - with Ben, the ever youthful Richard and the others (not the others, just that other group of passengers). Finally they arrived at the spot where the Egyptian statue had been - except all that remained was a giant foot.
Locke and Ben went in to see the statue while the others stayed on the beach and opened a giant box (too complicated to explain) to reveal a body. Locke's body. But Locke was still inside the foot with Ben, talking to Jacob. How could he be in two places at once?
The conversation inside the foot didn't last long before Ben stabbed Jacob and Locke pushed him on the fire. Given his previous omnipresence, I think it's safe to say he probably isn't dead.
Back at the drill hole, things were moving fast. After a gunfight between our lot and the bad Dharma Initiative crew Jack threw the nuke down the hole. Suddenly all metal objects started moving towards it - jeeps, everything. Somehow Juliet became caught up in some chains and then she was being dragged down into the hole. Sawyer tried to hold on to her but it was no use. 'I love you,' he sobbed. 'I love you,' she sobbed back. Then she fell. Just like in Hurley's film script for The Empire Strikes Back, the force was too strong.
A distraught Sawyer, Kate and Jack waited for the explosion. And waited. But nothing happened.
Then the camera took us down into the hole. There was Juliet. She was still alive. The nuke hadn't exploded. But she was badly injured. Still she managed to pick up a rock, and smash the nuke.