Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Aslan's kitchen

Marco is wearing a scarf around his head. I think he's trying to look mean but the effect is more mad. Krystle Carrington is trying to avoid the heat - presumably in case it melts her face. Vic from The Young Ones has managed to burn himself already - he's sporting an enormous blister and whimpering like a girl. And annoyingly, because you really do want them to fail, the Bovey-Turners are proving to be the best cooks.
Welcome to Hell's Kitchen, where once again a group of 'celebrities' have been thrown in at the deep end with Marco Pierre White. He's doing his best to give them a hard time, but you get the feeling his heart isn't really in it. He also appears to have an enormous zit on his face which is slightly off putting when you watch him handling food.
He does give Ms Dynamite a hard time for turning in what appears to be a perfectly respectable sandwich, and for getting in the way, and for generally just being there. And he almost praises Gary Lineker's fiance for her efforts - cold cheese on toast. Claudia Winkleman - who really needs to stop wearing sunglasses in the sun, or pearlescent eye shadow, or whatever else she's doing that makes her lids appear alarmingly pale compared to the rest of her body - has replaced previous presenter Angus Deayton, and lacks his acerbic wit, although maybe that will come.
But the problem for me is Marco. I know he's an excellent chef, and sexy to boot, but as a hard man in the kitchen he simply doesn't convince. With that messy mane and low growl, he's less tiger, more Aslan-from-Narnia lion.
I'll keep watching, although not if anything better is on the other side, and only to see the Bovey-Grants come a cropper. But tomorrow night Hell's Kitchen goes head to head with The Apprentice. I don't reckon its chances.

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